It’s the advice of the nation’s top researchers, who have found that a beer a day can protect you from many of the most common — and deadly — health problems, including cancer, heart attack, stroke, high blood pressure, diabetes and Alzheimer’s disease. And that’s not all — a daily beer can also strengthen your bones and even help you lose weight.
JOHANNESBURG, South Africa – Earth’s atmosphere is rapidly leaking out through holes in the ozone layer — and if the alarming trend continues at the current rate, every human on the planet will die a slow and agonizing death by suffocation within just eight short years!
You can get fat raises and big promotions the easy way – not by working long hours and kissing big-shot butt, but by seducing the boss’ wife and sweet-talking her into getting them for you! “I tell my clients to be all they can be to be successful – and those who listen almost always get the big raises and promotions that their…”
Prostitutes who service naval bases around the world are suffering from a new form of battle fatigue — they’re getting burned out from pleasuring droves of U.S. sailors involved in the war on terror!
GENEVA – A maverick military expert has put forward a way-out new proposal to make future wars fairer — by establishing “weight divisions” for nations just as in professional boxing!
LONDON – Most theoretical physicists now believe time travel is possible and will be achieved within the next 5,000 years – meaning your next door neighbor could be from the future and you may not even know it! “Beyond scientific theory, there is tangible evidence of human time travel,” notes one top British physicist.
“Objects known as anachronisms have been found out of their appropriate time, ranging from electric batteries dug up in ancient Greek ruins to a modern-type digital watch left behind in a Chicago hotel room in 1925.”
You can convince your children that you’re cool, even if your idea of an “in” dance is the Bunny Hop…
Idiots in the office are just as hazardous to your health as cigarettes, caffeine or greasy food, an eye-opening new study reveals. In fact, those dopes can kill you!